This is the fifth chapter of the serial novel Pirayus. For the previous chapter, see Chapter Four or start at the beginning with Chapter One.
Tabitha sat alone, waiting to face her consequences. In her hand she held a data chip containing her daughter’s genetic model. She had delayed too long to own up to her actions. She should have felt guilty. Logically, she understood and acknowledged her culpability. Emotionally, she had for some time been losing her ability to feel anything with any intensity. For better or for worse, guilt and shame were among the sensations that she’d misplaced. Perhaps this would give her the clarity she needed to do the right thing for Asandra before all was lost.
For most of her life, Tabitha had never felt the need to seek out a place of serenity. She had lived the life of an Atopan fabrile and had not wanted for much. Then her home became a place she’d regretted coming back to. Over the last year and a half since Asandra had contracted whatever it was that tortured her, Tabby had found herself in search of some place more secure. That place turned out to be the room in which she now sat, and she found it all the more appropriate that a storm had broken outside. Even this place was no longer going to be a sanctuary, not after today. Then again, maybe she could save its role in her life.
The room was very tall, octagonal, and made of glass fixed to great bows of steel that curved above her like the branches of a tree. Potted plants stood against the many panels of window grids. Birds flitted to and fro, ignorant of the sheets of rain spilling over the canopy above them. Tabby closed her eyes and listened to their chirp and the sloshing water. Then she heard sharp footsteps resounding off the marble floor. She opened her eyes and saw a man dressed in robes approach her.
“The Vates has agreed to see you.” he said.
She stood, saying “Thank you.”
“You must be very important.” he said. “He interrupted a phone call with the Senator to see you.”
“Oh I didn’t mean to…”
“It’s fine. He insisted. Reverend Thomas doesn’t do anything because he feels obligated.”
“We were childhood friends.” she said.
“It seems you were quite a bit more than that. Not that it’s any of my business.”
“Where is Martin?”
The robed man gestured to the gate at the other side of the great room. Tabby followed him through and they traversed the length of hallway lined by small, stately shrubs on both sides. At the end of the hall they reached another octagonal room. Rather than glass facing the rainclouds, the ceiling of this room was made of thousands of brightly colored tiles. They formed a mosaic featuring images of the six Atropan ideals, one on each sides. At the dome’s apex, the arched panels met at the image of a six sided star. A lantern hung in the center of the star. A cone of light extended from that latern and ended in a circle that covered the center of the floor.
Tabby walked into that circle of light. There was a ring of chairs and a table prepared with a pot of coffee and cups.A door opened on the other side of the room. Another robed man, this time with red stripes on his shoulder indicating his higher rank, entered. As he came in, the man who had led Tabitha to this place left.
“Martin.” said Tabby.
“It’s always a pleasure to see you.”
He gestured to the chairs and they sat. He poured her a cup of coffee.
Martin said, “I’ve heard about what happened. Is Andra okay?”
“She’s back at the house. A special police unit is looking after her.”
“Any signs of her symptoms? It’s been several hours since she should’ve returned/”
“Not yet, but the clock is ticking.”
Martin nodded and placed his palms together. He rested his chin on his finger tips.
“And how are you?” he said.
“Better. Better than I have in ages.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Really?”
“Yes, and I hate to say this, but in a small way I’m glad that Aaron s gone. I’m not saying that I don’t worry about him, but without the clamor of all his thoughts, I feel like I have some space to sort myself out. Everything Aaron does is fast. His feelings move through him quickly. He makes decisions based on instinct. It takes me a day just to figure out what I’m feeling and why… if I feel anything at all. I think that frustrates Aaron, that maybe he thinks I’m just brooding and hiding my feelings.. You may be the only who understands that.”
“Yes, but I know it wasn’t always that way with you,”
“No, it has been.” said Tabby. “Some people call me calculating and some call me careful, but I’ve always taken my time.”
Martin gestured at her with both hands, saying, “What I mean is that you didn’t always feel… dead inside… to use words you once said to me.”
“Yes, yes, I’m sorry, I get it now. You’re right. People think I’m cold or sad or scared. I wish I could be those things. Aaron is sad and scared and a million others things. For the last year and a half, though, I’ve just felt empty. I get more anxious about whether my face is wearing the most convincing expression than I do about more serious things. But that’s starting to change, Martin, and that’s what I’m here for. That’s why I have this.”
She held up the data chip.
“What’s that?” said Martin.
“First, can I ask you something? Is it possible that people are married for other reasons than love?”
“Are you asking me if the Sorter made a mistake?”
Tabby smiled, and it felt natural to her. “Don’t be ridiculous. Quite the opposite.”
“You know how I feel. The Sorter doesn’t make mistakes. Sometimes, we don’t understand it. When things turn out in a way that doesn’t feel right, it is always possible that humans, flawed as we all are, just made a mistake. We can always go back to the Sorter. In fact, doing so improve our ability to understand it. It’s called the Kalman Process.”
She shook her head. “Martin, that isn’t what I mean either. Let’s say that you were right when you said the Sorter had matched me and Aaron. I have every reason to believe you were. You’re the best Vates there is.”
“Thank you, Tabby.”
“What I’m really trying to ask is… what if the reason it paired me and my husband wasn’t for our own happiness, but for some other reason?”
“Another reason?”
“A bigger reason. A higher purpose.”
Reverend Thomas leaned back in his chair. He steepled his fingers beneath his chin again.
After some time, he said, “I suppose that’s entirely possible.”
Tabby put the chip on the table, next to the coffee pot.
“Well…” said Martin, picking it up. “Are you ready to tell me about this?”
“That’s Asandra’s genetic model. Did you know I made it myself?”
“Yes, and if I may return the compliment, I think you’re the best genetic engineer there is.”
“That’s kind of you, Martin. Anyone else who knew that I designed Andra might question my skill. After all, she is sick. But she isn’t the only one, so I can’t blame myself. There is something you should know, however. Do you know how we put together a model? We take a little bit of one parent’s DNA, a little bit of the other’s, and we overlay standard amplifiers. The parents’ DNA is just to make the child look like them and maybe take after them in certain ways. The important stuff is in the amplifiers of course, the stuff that gives them strength and intelligence.”
“I follow you.” said Martin. “Are you trying to say that maybe Aaron carried some hidden flaw?”
“No, the man is flawless.” Tabby laughed, though she was afraid it came out as a mean little snicker. “And I used very little of his DNA. Just enough to make Asandra look a bit like him. For all intents, however… Aaaron is not her father.”
“Tabby… where is this going?” He leaned forward so that his knees were nearly touching hers. “Who’s the father?”
“Martin Thomas... You are the father.”
He shook his head. “Tabby, what do you want from me?”
“Look at the data if you want.” She pointed at the chip. “It’s not a lie.”
Martin stood. “I don’t think it is, but I’m going to have to think about what you’re saying.”
“Wait.” Tabby said, standing and holding him by the arm. “Let me put this as simply as I can. Before you walk off, just give this thought a chance. What if there were no mistakes? I’m not just talking about me and Aaron, but about Asandra too. Think about it, even if I wasn’t supposed to do what I did, the Sorter knew I’d do it.”
“But why? Why did you do it?”
“Because Aaron isn’t suitable.”
“Not suitable?” saied Martin.
“My point is, the Sorter must’ve known. This must be a part of the plan.”
“The Sorter doesn’t control outcomes, it only predicts them.”
“Then why tell us at all?” said Tabby.
“Because we ask it to.”
“And you don’t suppose that this intelligence that is beyond your own understanding can’t have developed it’s own motives?”
Tabby started to feel tears burning beneath her eyelids. The sensation made her delirious with joy. She had been repeating these thoughts in the solitude of her own mind for months. They had been detached, logical musings when they’d first started. However, lately the pressure induced by their weight had started growing and now, at long last, everything was bursting forward in a great wave.
“Martin.” she said. “When Asandra was suffering from her convulsions, she’d say things. Things that didn’t make sense. I recorded some of them and played them over and over in the year she was in Cold Storage. At some point, something clicked for me. Is there any chance that she might be what you’re looking for?”
He nodded. “Well, if you’re going to ask me that, I have to ask you a hard question too. Have you considered the thought that you’re just a worried mother looking for meaning?”
“Why don’t we ask the Sorter?”
“You want me to ask the Sorter if your daughter is the missing link?”
“Yes.”
“The key to Technogenesis.”
“Yes. And not just my daughter, but all shudders everywhere. Wouldn’t it make sense that the Sorter wouldn’t take chances?”
“And what does this have to do with me?”
“Well…” Tabby took his shoulders in her hands and turned him to make him face her. “If she’s a part of you, then that makes you important to the future. You have always believed that you were destined for big things. You won’t come out and say it, but I know how you feel. Maybe you’re right.”
“You think this is something we need do together?”
“For the first time in more than a year, a thought has come on so strong it shakes my body. It’s in the pit of my stomach. It hurts so much sometimes that I have to take medicine to get through the day. And yet I can’t tell you how happy I am. The other day, I was laying on the floor, curled up in so much pain I couldn’t get up. Then I started laughing. I was laughing so hard that Aaron was more worried about that than he was about the pain. He didn’t understand.”
“And you think I do?” said Martin.
“I know you do.”
The reverend looked down at her hands, which were gripping him now with such force that he was losing the feeling in his shoulders. Tabby realized this and let him go.
“Please Martin.” she said.
“To do this, we have to get Asandra away from the police and bring her here.”
“I can do that.”
“If you do, I would be happy to bring her to the Sorter.”
Tabby pressed tears away from her face with the palm of her hand.
“Do you remember…” she said. “How disappointed you were when you found that the Sorter had not intended us to be together?”
Martin shook his head and waved a hand. “Children have to be allowed their childish dalliances. And that’s all we were then, still children at heart. When it’s time to grow up, it’s time to follow the Sorter’s direction.”
“I don’t disagree, Martin. All I mean to say is that the Sorter works in its own time. It thinks in centuries. In millenia. It requires patience from us all, but in the end we may experience wonderful things. What do you say Martin, would you like to experience wonderful things with me?”
He sank back into the chair and placed his face in his hands.
“One step at a time, Tabitha.” he said. “Bring Asandra here and we will see what comes of it.”Ready for more? Read on in Chapter Six
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